Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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