I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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