Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
