every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can't just leave with hair like that
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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