I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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