She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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