Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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