"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
