I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
