with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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