i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
