i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
