This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
