I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
