Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
