My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
