my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
