I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
