I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
