is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
