dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
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