You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
