No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
