My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
