She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This house was built for laser tag.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
