Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
