Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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