Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
