Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
