Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
