I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
