I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
