i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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