bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
