She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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