so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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