He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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