sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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