I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
