I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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