I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
