# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
