the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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