I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
