Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
