can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
