Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
