Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
