they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
