Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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