Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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