I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm too high and old for this...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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